I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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