I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
