My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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