Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize