That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
