bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
