I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
