Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
