On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
