I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
