somebody snuck up and got me drunk
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
