Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
