one two three fourrrrnication!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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