Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize