Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
