I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
