Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
