2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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