Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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