he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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