I faked an abortion last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
