you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
