Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize