Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
