i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
we should paint friendship bongs
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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