I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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