ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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