I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm really busy with my period
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