I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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