Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
