Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
