He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
