Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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