I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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