girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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