I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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