I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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