we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
