Don't make out with my wife yet
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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