I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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