He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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