4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
