I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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