and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
