you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
