Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
