i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
