hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Say something about gay babies.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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