I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
