...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
