she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
