I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
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He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
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Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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