I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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