I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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