My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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