If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
