oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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