well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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