They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
