hell yes lets make some ravioli
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize