We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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