dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
